Ebube

My dear boy, 

Today we remember. We remember the time God remembered Uncle K and his family. Uncle K had been married for seven years, yet had no children. We knew he wasn’t the problem. Not because he rode on the waves of male privilege of African cultural waters. Neither was his wife. Aunty Nkechi was pregnant. Not once, not twice. In fact, she was pregnant in the first year. But the babies wouldn’t stay. They left as soon as they came.

So, when we gather like this to make merry, it is because in the seventh year, Jehovah remembered Uncle K and his wife. On this day, we cry, and we laugh. I choose to do neither. Uncle K cries. Then he laughs. He looks at Ebube and laughs again. He laughs mostly now. Ebube! The baby that stayed.

Grandfather insists, however, that the party must be big. He has invited all his friends. Ebube deserves it, though. A very smart child. I like this one. Not everyone does. Maybe I like Ebube because Ebube’s mother wasn’t very dear to me. Yes. Was. We will be visiting her grave later today. 

Sometimes, it feels as though she left so that Ebube would stay. Mother says Uncle K would have preferred it the other way around. Aunty Nkechi was a sweet soul. I somewhat understand why they would be mad, though. Trading certainties for possibilities would leave one mad. 

Surely we’re grieved that Aunty Nkechi is gone, yet marinating in that grief is joy that Ebube is here. Blessings whose prices are too steep…. Still, we remember. We remember, and we choose to stay grateful. Remember, gratitude is not always easy. On days such as this, it becomes a cast-iron truth that gratitude is a choice. Everything about Ebube is a choice. To love and to nurture with all the love in the world because Ebube must not be made to feel like a highway robber. The burden of grief must not rest on the fragile shoulders of Ebube. 

Perchance, another way to view it is that Ebube is so precious that Ebube was worth dying for. Such a destiny deserves a front row seat. Nonetheless, isn’t that a burden that has weighed many down: expectation? A child shouldn’t be considered special only when they are perceived as possessing exceptional innate abilities. To be born is enough because love is what makes us special. 

Love, 

Dad.