My dear boy,
Several things communicate value, especially the value you place on yourself. These things put together tell other people how you perceive yourself. Your posture, personal hygiene, hair and skin care, style and carriage, the pitch of your voice, which more often than not can expose the state of your mind, and your economic status, last but not least, your overall appearance. Let’s call this grooming.
Appearances are indeed very deceiving, generously expend on it. It is the chief ingredient in the creation of perception. People expect you to look the part first. Every other thing is merely logic staggering into emotion’s cocktail party. In the words of our dearly beloved Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, “Looking good is good business.”
If there is anything I’ve learned, it is that you may not have the best of clothes, but please make certain, at all times, that you have a well-polished pair of shoes on. Ensure that your shoes are clean. Because I tell you this, the first thing people notice about you is the shoes you have on. My son, iron your clothes. Well, this brings us to a subject most men neglect, and that is personal grooming.
Grooming is not gay, nor is personal hygiene gender specific. You are not gay if you choose to take care of yourself. Have a skincare routine. It’s not meant for women alone. GQ defines grooming as ‘confidence, discipline, taste, and self-respect, not vanity.” Hair, skincare, fragrance, fitness, and mental composure are all treated as part of a man’s public language. Tom Ford, designer and former creative director at Gucci and YSL, aptly captures this when he says, “Grooming is not about vanity. It’s about taking responsibility for how you present yourself to the world.”
Now, there are certain things I wouldn’t expect you to do. Nevertheless, you can never go wrong with a fresh pair of boxers each day. We live in a climate that is harsh, awfully hot, and as much as you would want to argue that your boxers are clean, they have gathered quite a lot of sweat. When they soak up sweat, they smell terribly, and perfumes or body sprays will not cut it. Don’t bother with that. So invest in good-quality boxer shorts. Get those. Get those. Get those.
Again, clean underwear and a shaved butt are a shade of happiness you should pursue.
Now, a deodorant is a must. It’s a must-have. It’s non-negotiable. It’s not a what-if, a maybe. No! It’s a must-have. You ought to have it, because many a man has missed out on great opportunities because of how they stink. Again, we sweat a lot in this country, and we cannot in our pretense favor otherwise.
See, trim your nails. As you advance in life, you realize that the nails have no use for certain nooks and crannies in this world. They have no use for specific settings on the stage where you must dance. Hence, trim them. Besides, they gather up germs really quickly. So, what use are they? Trim them.
And when you eventually grow a beard like your father, trim it. Of course, I must say that I hate to do that. Sometimes I just want to have that caveman look. But you must have risen to a certain level of power to appear however you damn well please, and people will still listen to you. Until then, my boy, should you choose to grow a beard, you must appear trimmed.
It is appointed unto a man to get a haircut every two weeks, and to some, a week or so. Should you choose a week or so, ensure to get a haircut when due. Do not look like whatever you may be going through. Make reference to Kipling’s poem. I’ll stop at that.
Yet another time, cut your nails, my boy. Cut your nails.
There, I say, for what it’s worth, have your bath twice a day using soap. We bathe with soap, unlike them, who God denied melanin. Scrub your nether region. When you bathe, lift your penis, scrub under its head, and do not neglect the crack between your butt cheeks. It will amaze you the number of people who do not wash behind their knees. Did I mention that the only wetness some people’s ears have felt is the wax in their ears? Wash behind your ears, my boy.
Toilet paper is not for you. Use. Water. And avoid those who do not.
Also, brush your teeth twice A day. Whispers are only as stealthy as the breath that carries them, so my dear boy, brush. Mouthwash would do you no good if you have yet to brush, nor will minty chewing gums help. It’s as though you’re pouring precious ointment on a dead man: he neither appreciates it nor has any knowledge of it. So, my dear boy, make no fool of yourself by chewing gum endlessly when you have not brushed for if you have brushed your teeth, you will have no need for chewing gum. Care for your tongue. You may be surprised to find that many brush and forget that their tongues exist.
I know this might be neglected in most discussions about grooming, but eating habits are no trivial matter. Always wash your hands before you touch your food- anything that would touch your mouth. Besides, you can’t eat everything and anything you see, my boy. No, put a knife to your throat. Let there be things that you don’t eat, come what may.
Treat your body as what it is: the temple of the living God. Not everything is permitted to get in there, because at the end of the day, we are what we eat. Our mood and general appearance are indicators of what we eat. So you want to smell good? Eat healthy, boy, otherwise, you might have to deal with a whole lot of perfume stores for no good reason. You don’t want to be stinking while you still live. “The body is the first garment we wear,” says Martha Graham, dancer and choreographer.
Remember to observe table manners always, and when you dine with kings, eat little, no matter how hungry you are. All the best, my boy, all the best.
Love,
Dad.
